Michelle

2 1/2 more weeks of school left! These are the crunch times. I have finals, but what's more is that I have to take 7 tests this next week (the week that is supposed to be dead week, which is also supposed to mean no tests before finals week for study purposes). On the up side, I did finish all my paperwork for the semester. That is a big ol' Hallelujah, because there has been lots - lots of community projects, lots of papers, lots of journal articles and care plans and charts. :o) After this semster, three more left and then I'm done.

Oooh, so at clinical last week I totally got to take care of three infants who were at the shelter I've been doing clinicals at for the past few weeks. When I say "infant," I mean not even 3 days old. Two were twins, and one was just another baby there. I fed them, rocked them to sleep, held them...All I kept thinking was "God, I can wait. I have to wait. But I REALLY want one of these!"

Family is doing well, grandparents are doing well....Well, let me tell you that well does not encompass the family role strain of taking care of my grandma with alzheimers. It has been difficult, and I am coming home and then I will be caregiver for a few weeks. *sigh* But I love my family, so it is worth it. I also get to see my best friend when I come home. Well, my best friend since forever. :o) Friendships are a GOD thing.

That pretty much encompasses my life right now. School is a huge chunk, which is why I don't update so much. You'd be bored to tears.

Well, I did go to a Missions conference for healthcare workers, in Kentucky a few weeks ago, and that was eventful...And I went shopping on Black Friday with a good friend...That was interesting...Not much else to say. Keep me in your prayers that I don't go nuts these last two weeks, and that I get the A'S I know are coming to me!

God bless you!

Fall break is over now. Tomorrow sc hool begins again. Classes are going well. I love my clinicals. I am excited for Christmas though. What can I say? It's just that time of year.

Went to my Honor Academy alumni reunion last weekend. It was insane, but awesome. Plus, I actually saw my friends Dan and Luke "perform" with the parody boy band from 2000/2001, N'Adequate. I had been familiar with N'Adequate, but I'd never seen them actually play for a crowd. It was hilarious. Good times.

I wish I had more to write, but I don't. Not here. I do have more to say though...*sigh* I am just studying for Pharmacology and for Patterns of Health and Illness class. Two of my most difficult classes this year *gulps* :)

Anyway, I'll update maybe next weekend. later taters!

Happy birthday to me, I am 23

*yawns and does a large stretch*

This summer was without a doubt the most stressful summer of my life....Even more stressful then last summer when I exposed myself to chemistry, physiology and anatomy within a 9 week period of time.

It is transition time for my family, with my grandparents living with us. They moved in this past April, and it has been stressful ever since.

My grandma has dementia, and she is not your typical sweet grandma. She gets nasty, and sometimes she gets agressive as well. It is difficult to explain, if you are not taking care of a dementia/alzheimers family member or friend. You really have to be experiencing it, or be closely familiar with somebody who is in order to understand that this bites. I love my family, but an event like this really stretches your family, and you find the fabric you're made of. We are strong, but trying to get into a routine. It is not easy, as my grandma is very unpredictable. My grandpa is a big help, but he has arthritis and had old war injuries that prevent him for helping a lot with the physical stuff.

To top that off, this past Friday, my grandma took a fall while walking her dog and she broke all the bones in the right side of her face, and a bone in her wrist. Her face barely looks human, and she can hardly walk. SO I've been showering, toileting, and taking care of my grandma's every need.

We've all been taking care of their every needs. My parents work nights, and unfortunately my grandma never sleeps the entire night and sometimes attempts to get up or gets confused. This means grandpa walkie talks up to me at 2 in the morning telling me that grandma is trying to "go home"...etcetc.

We've all been working. I had been working at St. Martha's Villa, an assisted living facility near my home, and do you know where I spent most of my time? In the dementia unit.

Do you know where I am going to be in the hospital this fall at school? In the psychiatric unit...lol. To tell you the truth, it grew on me. All the people I took care of this summer...I am going to miss them. I enjoyed taking care of dementia/alzhermer patients...Maybe I just enjoyed being needed.

I dunno, as much as I enjoyed it, it took much more of a stress toll on me than school has! Not that I am looking forward to my last two years. I am tired of school and just want it to be over. Well, it will be over with soon enough. I just need to thank the Lord for the works he is doing in my life and trust that he has a purpose for my every day. Well, I know that he does, I just need to walk in it :o)

But yes. I have hardly even been to church this summer, and THAT Has taken it's toll on me as well. Every time I come home so many things change and it is hard to pick up and flow with everybody else. People change because life here has gone on while I've been gone for months, and my time demands are different. It's been hard to come home and not have much of a support base outside of my family.

My old best friend Andrea (http://www.myspace.com/psuangelgirl2006) and I reunited again (we've been friends for 11 years, best friends for about 9 years)...What is difficult is that she is not a Christian and even though we surf the same wavelength as far as personalities go, and even moral beliefs, our spiritual beliefs separate us from going to that extremely deep, intimate level of "best friendship." Still, she's been a support for me this summer, and I've been an encouragement and support to her as well after her graduating from Penn State and trying to find a job. She has been a big blessing in my life, and I thank God for her friendship, especially this summer because I've been in real big need of a friend.

I suppose I really should update this puppy. I have to go to work soon though, so it won't be long!

This summer has been a whirlwind, but this is a good thing, because it basically means that next semester will be a whirlwind as well. I would be lieing if I didn't tell you all that I am nervous about my next school year. It is supposed to be the hardest year of nursing school for BSN students, so, I am a little nervous, yes :o) Actually, I think it is going to go amazingly quickly, and it will be a good year, so it's not so bad...

Umm. I've been working over at St. Martha's Villa (an assisted living facility). Talk about a tiring job! Woah baby. It has been able to provide money though, which is what I am going to need for that "new" car I am going to get before I drive, that's right kiddos, DRIVE back to Tulsa. Prise the Lord. I have yet to have a car there, and it has been HARD.

I've also been spending time with old friends and my sister. Anytime when I am not working though, I usually am having to spend time with my grandparents though, because my grandmother needs mental stimulation, and guess who's the elected person for the job.... :o) It is difficult, it is stressful, and it is hard. In a sense I can't wait to get back to school because life here is a different kind of stress.

SAW POTC 2 the other night. It was a good movie, I only wished for more closure. I laughed a lot more in this one, and appreciated a lot of scenes, but the "no closure" thing at the end was not the best thing in the world. It was still a good movie though.

I miss outreach. I miss having a second to rest in Jesus. I feel like something in my life has to change, because right now I am way too busy. :o(

I have been sick these past few days. Lord, help me. I feel so sick and weak I can't do anything. Please pray for me!

Well, my friend Andrea lent me her copy of "Da Vinci Code" yesterday. I started reading it last night around 10PM - And I finished it this morning as the sun was peaking it's way through the night far off the eastern horizon. What do I have to say for it? - dang - and that is not a word I typically put into rotation in my vocabulary.

That's right - it was that much of a page turner. I literally could not put it down. Dan Brown definitely knows how to write a book to tantalize his reader's proverbial taste buds. The major (and I do mean MAJOR) downfall of the book, is that even though it is a self-professed fiction novel, it is highly deceptive to any person who has not studied church history, Biblical history, or pagan history.

While it is definitely a well written suspense thriller that I did in fact find enjoyment in reading, I found just as much gut wrenching feelings while reading it as well.

You see, the novel itself is obvious fiction to it's readers in a sense that it is about a grand family secret rising to the surface, and a search for a "Holy Grail" if you will. Dan Brown obviously did his homework on so much information. He has a lot of fact in his book. What is the true deception of this novel, is the fact that he mixes information bits that are not well known facts, but facts none the less, with bits of information that seem like the same thing, but have no historical basis whatsoever, and are just as candidly passed off as truth in the book. Since the "uninformed" reader sees truth in the bits that make sense and in fact ARE fact, he or she has no reason to believe the pieces which are bogus are also a fact, when in reality it is all one huge fabrication woven together to make a masterful story. This is the stuff that good books are made of, but it gets spiritually deceptive when you attack a major system of belief at it's core with extremely limited historical evidence and a plethora of fabrication.

I wish I had more time to write, but time evades me! Trust me, more will come on this, but I have to get going now. Peace out. Stay holy. xoxo

Rainy, icky, Friday morning. Good Morning! Can you believe I am still getting adjusted to being home? It is so weird. Oh well. So I got the job I was talking about. I start in June, which is actually really good with my family schedule. umm...

I need to make a list of things I plan on getting done over the summer. There is a lot I want to do, but even so, it is easier to get things done when they are listed out (for me anyway). Ya know?

My friend Marie probably had her baby by now, but I thought I had her and Justen's number in my cell and I do not. Therefore, I must ask Sarah to give me her number in hopes that she has it! It's hard for them, you know? Being so young and in school and paying rent and working and having a baby. My mom was like that (only with no husband and two kids). *sigh*

OK. I am going to the gym. Later taters...

WELL....Guess what? I have almost been home for one week! I have a second job interview tomorrow, and if I don't get it, I have already started searching some more. Pray for me, if you will...

I went to a friend's graduation this past weekend at Penn State University Main Campus. It was a lot of fun, but the graduation itself, I dare say, left much to be desired. My friend didn't enjoy it much either, but hey, what does she care? She is a Penn State grad. I, however, am very excited to (in two years) graduate from ORU. 5 1/2 year college plan, 5 majors later. lol. Actually, VFCC was probably the biggest mistake I made in that aspect. It is a great school, but a year of my life went someplace I knew I was never going to end up. How can one get into medicine in a Bible college? Hmm...Well, what's done is done! Plus, I don't consider it a waste in any way. I learned a lot. In fact, in all my majors I learned so much. Comparative politics, for example, has no significance to nursing or health care - but I learned how various different systems of government worldwide work...I learned much in my missions classes at VFCC, and various other courses I took. Being where I am at right now is a dream come true. I enjoy nursing and hospital work very much, and I could never seriously dream of doing anything else with my life. I have other things I want to do in addition to health care, but right now this is it. It is right.

Speaking of school, I got an "A" in a class I seriously was expecting a "B" in, and a "B" in a class I was hoping for an "A" in (but the B was only one credit, so it is not a huge deal). YaY for me!

Taking care of grandparents is a lot of work. Playing Scrabble with a person who has Alzheimers is a lot of fun. I highly recommend it. Go visit a nursing home and hang out with the Alzheimers patients. OK. So I am having a bit of fun at my grandmother's expense. I love her very much, and it is hard to have somebody who was once so sharp and whitty, forget that I am her granddaughter and ask me every 5 minutes who I am. She is not "gone." She remembers me, but she doesn't remember who I am or what my significance is to her. But she remembers grandpa, and she remembers a lot about me. *sigh* I know it is only going to get worse, but I have the patience for it. It is my mother whom I am worried about. As difficult as this is for me, she is my grandmother's daughter, you understand? Well, having them living downstairs is still nice, and I like taking care of them.

Mother's day was great. Ma was shining like the sun considering the fact that she worked five 12-hour shifts in a row, and has two more (she never does that, but she is doing a favor for somebody). Dad is, well, I don't want to spread his business all over the net, but please keep him in your prayers. I want him to be healthy.

My sister had fun at ATF, though she couldn't tell me much about it. I am sure she was just busy having fun with friends. Though that is important, I would like to think that she gleaned some good stuff from a man such a Ron Luce. You guys don't understand how amazing he is. He would take on the sins of all the world's youth if he believed it would get them all into heaven. That is his heart, his passion. He doesn't just say he loves youth - he LOVES youth. He believes in kids like no one else I've ever known. I just want people to know that about him. He came to speak at ORU this past semester at a chapel, and I heard some college kids mumbling about his "crazyness" to themselves. I wanted to smack them. They were dishonoring a man of God, and they didn't even understand. Well, anyway. Mel (my sis) said that she enjoyed the other speakers (including the missions presentation) and the bands...I just hope she internalized a lot of what was there. She probably did - my sister just doesn't like to spread her business everywhere. We are different like that. I am very emo, but very open about everything, and she is emo, but very introspective about it all. Sisters. haha

OK. I gotta go. blessings! God bless you!

Slowly learning that I am the only one who can dream for myself. I have really big dreams, you know? And coming back to PA really hits home about how difficult it can be to break free of "this." There isn't anything wrong with "this," but I know a lot of people who have and who will live here their whole lives - and there is nothing wrong with that - but I don't want to. This life is not for me. I miss home when I am not here, but it is like a base for me.

Talking to my father can be difficult, because he always likes to play the devil's advocate when he talks to me. I don't know if he believes that I don't have my feet on the ground or what, but when I an standing on a ladder to get a better look at what's out there, he is the one at the foot of the ladder shaking it so that I fall down. I am sure he believes in me and my abilities, but he has got some sort of anger issue with "the dream." It is like he doesn't believe it exists, so he doesn't want me to get injured looking for it. I don't want my parent's life. It is not a bad life, but I don't want it. I want medical school. I want to be a surgeon. The time isn't yet, but I am preparing now. All I want is to be used by God. You can't be a failure when God is using you. That is your purpose, you know. That is mine too. As practical as God is, though, I believe dreaming must be done. When you dream big and go after that, even if you don't hit every mark, you sure hit a lot more than if you hadn't had a dream.

*sigh*

No parents are perfect. My mother believes in my dreams. Maybe moms are supposed to.

I am really missing people already. *tears* I think I am emotionally drained. Going home is awkward, because these past I don't know how many years, I've been away - away at an internship, away at colleges. I've been around friends and aquaintences more than I have been around my own family, and every time I go home it is culture shock. This time my culture shock includes a set of grandparents and $60,000 worth of housing renovation.

I love change, but I have a hard time adjusting to it sometimes. I think that's weird. (because, really, I LOVE change).

Also, it is true. The more adult you get, the less time you seem to find in the day. *sigh*

No matter. Life goes on. Surprisingly, that is a comforting feeling :o)

BTW...I AM A JUNIOR NURSING MAJOR NOW! heh heh

Nursing school is a bit difficult (what else is new :o). I have started clinicals. yay! haha. Being an RA has been great so far this semester. Last semester I was still feeling out the crowd. This semester is business. I am bound and determined to go home this summer and work, so I hope nothing comes up with school!

I really want to go to Mexico on medical missions this Spring Break, but I need 1300$ in a short amount of time, and I don't know if that is going to happen. Well, if God wants it to happen, it'll happen.

Not too much else to write. God is amazingly good, and He gives me such peace! And...I love life, and......wow. xoxo

CPR certification today....Tomorrow I am tested in Psychology. Monday Psychology final, Tuesday Missions Final, Wednesday Microbiology final, thurday Nutrition final. And I think my nursing class already had it's big test (thank God!). My heavy finals I am studying the most for are Micro and Psychology. My Psychology A is on the blade of a knife. Micro lab I have an A, but I want to keep my B and push for that A in lecture.

School is going pretty well. I will be home in about 1 1/2 weeks, so praise the Lord for that! I am hoping this weather lightens up for traveling purposes (there is snow all over!)

yes, well...I need to go. Blessings!

WoW. Thanksgiving was spectacular! I spent it with my best friends in the world (4 of the 5 of them)!. It is so funny how we came to be friends. But six of us - best friends. I am grateful to God in Heaven for my friends. I love them dearly!

So I am thankful for the friends. Thankful for my family. Thankful that Jesus lives inside of me. Thankful that I am going to get an A in all of my classes this semester!

heh heh.

God is really Good. did you know that? Even if he wasn't good, He would still be God, and that silences me in His presence.

So anyway. Home in a few weeks. I will get to see more friends. woot woot!

I suppose I am overdue. A lot is happening. The semester is picking up and windign down all in one. But I don't want school to be my life. I don't think I am going to be an RA next fall. It has been an amazing learning experience and challenging, but I think Iam going to focus on other things...Like outreach. I am tired of feeling like a constipated Christian because I only get out once a week to hang out with people in the surrounding neighborhoods in North Tulsa. I want to do it so much more. I love people. God loves people. We have something in common! yay

I totally went to a hanson concert tonight, and it was wonderful. I was so blessed in the first place to be able to go, because it had been 6 years since I've seen them, and they've changed out of that teeny bopper phase into a totally great band (though I have been a fan for 8 years!).

</a>

I enjoyed the concert, I enjoyed the company, I enjoyed the crowd, I enjoyed the openers. It was truly a wonderful evening. WoW I really love those Hanson brothers!